By Eddie Appoo
Eddie, began to write this in May 2024 and somehow, he never completed it. As I (Ranjana) prepare for the Heart of Understanding 8 Day LT (LiberatingTouch) Class Beginning on Easter Sunday 2025, it feels timely to complete it to the best of my ability. I have made very few changes to this document honouring Eddie’s voice and style of speaking.
For those of you that have chanced upon this blog and do not know what LT is. LiberatingTouch (LT) IS conscious living, healing, meditation, spirtual understanding. It is fundamentally based on the practice of Truth, Self-Responsibility, Peace, and Love. The Tree is a vital component in all the LiberatingTouch meditations and processes. It is a metaphor for the Illumined Self. You can download the free guide from https://liberatingtouchcentre.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Introductory-Guide-to-LiberatingTouch-V5.pdf to find out more about this encompassing restorative practice.
Eddie writes…
As a child
As a child being brought up as catholic, I had a strong connection to the Almighty Father, rather than Jesus. My earliest experience was that of a child, on a number of occasions, running to the back of the house, looking at the sky and asking God to take me back home, as I was unhappy, due to the beatings I took from my mother.
I remember on another occasion when I was about ten years old, saying the ‘Our Father’ over and over again, as I was woken up and saw a large bat-like looking creature coming towards me, from a distance. I said the prayer frantically until the creature started to recede from me. Later as an adult, I realised that it was a creature that fed on fear, as it seems to be exuding fear in waves, in order to feed on my fear. By calling on the Almighty Father, I overcame the creature.
Connection to Mother Mary
Later in my teens, I used to go for Novenas on Saturday evenings celebrating Mother Mary, as I wanted her blessings for my GCE exams. I felt that the Mother would help me. I had this connection to God as both the Almighty Father and the Divine Mother since I was a child as my samskara[i] and prarabdha karma[ii]. That is the part of the experiences from past lives that dictates what happens in this life.
Connection with the Almighty Father
When I was about 18 or 19 years old, living in England, I experienced seeing light at the top of my head in the dark. I did not understand it and put it out of my mind. For the next 10 years of my life, I was very much in the material world.
The first glimpse of the SELF – Bliss Sheath 1983 – The early Kundalini experiences
In 1983/84 I had a kundalini experience. I woke up in the middle of the night and found my body moving, with an up-and-down motion. I was scared, as I thought I was poisoned. This happened 3 times during the night and I was awakened each time. Finally, I asked my friend to take me to the hospital. The A&E doctor was furious with me as he thought I was on drugs and they were busy. Since I was okay but confused, I came back home.
Somewhere around the same time frame, I had another kundalini experience. This time I was awake, preparing to go to sleep. As I lay down with various thoughts going around in my head, on things that had happened that day, I heard a ‘clickety-clack’ sound, like that made by a train running alongside the house. I was confused as the nearest rail tracks were half a mile away. Anyway, the sound increased in volume and I found the whole house shaking, as if an earthquake was taking place. Before I could get off the bed and rush out of the house, I suddenly found myself in a place that was brighter than a million suns. I had no body, but I was conscious and full of bliss. I was like a bird freed from my cage. I felt that I was free and could go anywhere. The light shone in all directions to the horizon. I had omni-vision, where I saw everything everywhere in all directions, at the same time. I could not tell how long it took, as there was no time as we understand it. I heard the sound of a bell. I also felt the presence of someone with me guiding me, although I could not see him (years later I realised it was Swami – Sri Sathya Sai Baba[iii], who I came to recognise as GOD).
Suddenly, I felt a pull dragging me back to the body and I struggled to stop the motion. I abruptly came back in my body. The body was dank and felt like excrement. Everything appeared dark. I felt extremely upset as I was taken from ecstasy to deep depression. Nothing on this earth could compare to the ecstatic joy and happiness I felt there. I knew that no drugs, substances or experience on earth could duplicate it. It was also at that time that a voice started speaking to me (I found out later it was Swami). The intensity of the experience made me reject all forms of meat, alcohol and gambling (although I did not do this often). However, I still smoked. I found it more difficult to give smoking up.
About ten years later as I was reading Swami’s discourse, he stated that when you hear the bell, know that the higher self has been awakened. I also found out much later, around 2011, that I had been taken to the ‘Anandamaya Kosha’[iv] – The Bliss Sheath.
Started Meditating in 1987
A year and a half later, I managed to get a flat of my own. It was during this time I did my sadhana without realising it. An inner voice would answer any questions I put to it. I had a sudden desire to see the aura, after reading a book. The voice guided me to look at my hands, but not focus on them, focus a little above the hands and that I would see the aura in time. I would spend a few hours looking at my hands every evening when I came back from work and after my dinner. I did this for between 2 and 3 years.
In that time, I slowly began to see the aura. I was surprised at how big it was. It was about a 12-foot ball or egg shape. Initially, it was a subdued light shape and later it appeared to have a surface with colours blending and changing on its surface. There were also lines that appeared like lightning of different colours shooting towards the surface. I was seeing this with the physical eyes. At that time, I did not realise that my desires were being used by Swami to further his agenda to help me focus. This was a technique used by both Buddhist practitioners and Yogis, to help them concentrate. Concentration or dharana by both Buddhists and Yogis, was one of the steps towards meditation and finally enlightenment. This is also stated in the ‘Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali’ before 400 CE.
Focusing the mind by relaxing the body
During this period, I was unhappy where I was working. I felt that I wanted to move to another job. The voice said that I needed to have some experience of another type of work before I could move and suggested I do voluntary service to gain the necessary experience. I started working with an individual who had learning difficulties. I took him to bingo, which he liked, every Saturday morning when I was off work. I did this for two years. He had a terrible stutter and had no confidence. The voice asked me to envelop his throat area in a blue light, which I did. Slowly he lost his stutter and managed to get a job, at which point he had no need of my help.
After experiencing the auras, I had another desire to have an OBE (out-of-body experience) and the voice gave me more instructions on how to achieve it. I was told to become aware of my feet and visualise it becoming relaxed and say it within myself and work up the parts of the body, till I reached my head. So, I would actively bring my awareness to my feet and say ‘my feet are relaxed’, then go to the lower legs, ‘my legs are relaxed’, then bring my attention to my knees and say, ‘my knees are relaxed’ and so on. I was to check on my relaxation and repeat it till I fell asleep. This is similar to our current LiberatingTouch relaxation exercise[v], which originates here.
I did this practice for 6 months, until one day a strange thing happened. I was lying on my bed repeating the relaxation exercise when I heard a strange rhythmic sound. It took me some time before I realised that the body was asleep and snoring and that I was awake. The voice then told me that I was doing formal meditation from tomorrow.
The next Kundalini Experience – February 12, 1991
The next day (February 12, 1991, Mahashivaratri[vi], Shrove Tuesday[vii], and Isra and Mi’raj[viii]), after I came back from work and had my dinner, I started the formal meditation as I had been instructed at about 11 pm, sitting in a chair. The voice guided me by going through the chakras[ix], from the Muladhara to the Sahasrara and seeing the spinning curtain of light around one’s self.
The first night I experienced an orange glow within me, like a rising sun. I was tired by midnight and went to sleep as I was working the next day. The next night I did the same exercise and saw a yellow glow within me, as if the sun was about to rise. Once again, I was tired by midnight and went to sleep. The third night I went through the exercise and this time the colours within me changed from yellow to white as if the sun rose within me. I could see within myself, two flames (like acetylene torches) one on each side of the interior of my head, at the back. One flame was the colour of the sun and the other was the colour of the moon. These flames shivered and had a hissing sound. Suddenly, with a loud bang, they became one. My perspective seemed to change and I found the entire universe in me and an enormous pillar of flame in the centre that seemed to be made up of millions of sparklers. At the same time, I heard the sound of ‘OM’. It was a gigantic sound that reverberated throughout the entire universe. It was the sound of creation.
Later on, I realised it was the kundalini and the flames were the Ida[x] (coming up on the left side, moon energy) and Pingala (coming up on the right side, solar energy) and when it became one, it was the kundalini that moved through the Shushumna. The kundalini was like a lightning bolt.
Initially, I was not frightened as I experienced the unexpected movements, sounds and images. It was exciting and I enjoyed the experience, but later after a few hours when I opened my eyes intending to stop the experiences, it would not stop even with my eyes open. I felt completely desiccated and dry. Then I felt the kundalini increasing my heartbeat, and fear crept in as the lightning bolts surged within me. I thought the kundalini would reduce me to ashes, as I recalled reading a book about spontaneous combustion, where only a leg or foot was left of the victim.
It was now about 3 am and I couldn’t sleep, because as soon as I tried to sleep, I could see a lightning bolt within me which would surge up and explode in my head and my whole body would shake as if I was being electrocuted. The fear of dying was quite acute. This carried on for a couple of hours till 5 am when I was able to sleep for a couple of hours. I remember getting up in the morning and before going to work, falling on my knees talking to the Almighty Father to allow me to see him before I die. Meanwhile, my attempt at meditation brought up the kundalini and the fear of death. Now I was scared of meditating, as I was afraid to die. I stopped meditating and asked the voice to explain what was going on with me.
A couple of weeks later, I felt guided by the voice to see Sogyal Rinpoche[xi] who was visiting London. I joined a large group of his students and devotees and heard him speak. Later we formed a queue to ask him any personal questions. I told him of my personal experience. He said ‘Tumo, tumo’[xii]. He asked me how long I was practicing and I said 3 days. He said that was not possible and waved his hands to show that it was over. I found him brusque. I felt disappointed. Later I joined his students who were taking small groups. Once again, I described my experiences and the student could not explain anything to me.
I had not been given any explanation of what happened to me. Suddenly, one of the guys in my group waved to me and took me aside and told me that he had heard of similar experiences. His name was Eddie Palmer, a Sai devotee[xiii]. He asked me to go with him to Chepstow Road in London where he lived. I went with him and he lent me a book by Dr Goel a devotee of Sathya Sai Baba called ‘The Third Eye and Kundalini’.
I went home and read the book. It answered all my questions. However, I did not want to have anything to do anything with any Guru, as I believed that the Almighty Father was the one guiding my experiences. I became good friends with Eddie Palmer and saw him weekly from about March 1991. We meditated and talked, but I did not want to get involved with his guru Sai Baba.
The Almighty Father and Swami – In 1992 Swami appeared in my bedroom.
About a year later in the spring of 1992, I was woken up from sleep at 1 am in the morning. Swami walked into my bedroom and came to the left side of the bed and placed his thumb on my forehead. Initially, I thought I was dreaming, until he rubbed my forehead with his thumb, with a vigorous movement up and down and caused intense physical pain, as I felt as if his thumb was penetrating my brain.
Lo and behold, my Atma which I recognised as residing in my heart chakra, began speaking to me and saying that it won’t take long. Suddenly, I felt an electric shock as the energy coursed from my right toe and hit a block in my right knee. I heard the Atma talking to the Paramatma (who I recognised was Swami) saying that it was working. In the next second I woke up and there was no creation, or the 7 billion. I woke up and recognised the Almighty Father and I felt like a child and knew that this was my Father, which also happened to be Swami.
Part of Jesus’s experience was he was the son of God, just as I knew that I was the ‘son of God’. Almighty God and Swami were one and the same. Were one and the same. I had all knowledge in me and knew that I had been with the Almighty Father throughout eternity and there was never a time that I was separate from him. I was shocked to find that I had forgotten him. I wondered how that was possible. I came back into creation and Swami was still there by my bed and once again he rubbed my forehead. I started to lose my identity and imploded into oblivion, at which point I screamed ‘NO’. I found myself alone in bed and Swami gone. I realised that I was not ready to become ‘one with the Father’, which Jesus did after he had experienced becoming the ‘son of God’.
Now, I started to see Swami in my dreams and he began to teach me. Knowing that he was in India I made attempts to go there, but all my attempts failed. I realised that I won’t be able to go there unless he willed it. I knew that I would only be able to go there when the time was right. I surrendered to his will and awaited his pleasure.
The Tree in Tekels Park
Around the same time, I also became a member of the NFSH (National Federation of Spiritual Healers). During one weekend seminar for the NFSH in ‘Tekels Park’ in Camberley, I experienced being hugged by the Tree. I was meditating leaning against one of the large Redwood trees, I felt as if the Father hugged me. It made me realise that the tree was alive and part of nature, which is the physical manifestation of God. Meanwhile, I saw God, who I now referred to as Swami (Beloved Master), often in my dreams, teaching me about creation and the values underpinning creation.
The Call
In August 1993, I was with a group of people in Wales, meditating with a guy called Alexander who was into Shamanism. During a group meditation, a bright light appeared and Swami appeared to me and announced, ‘You can go to India now’. I was so excited that when I got back, I called Eddie Palmer and told him that I was going to India. He said that a group of Sai devotees were going to Kodaikanal in India in April the following year. I agreed to join the group, as they were organising it and I would have no problems.
I went with the group of Sai devotees going to Kodaikanal in India in April 1994 for 10 days. I still had some doubts if this little Indian man was the Almighty God that I had prayed to all my life. First, we flew to Madras and then to Madurai. Then we took a van up the steep road to Kodaikanal. I shared a room with Julian Wontner in a local hotel.
Seeing Swami
The first time I saw Swami he was about 50 feet away when he opened the door. I felt a tremendous force hit me at that distance. I also felt him asking if I was satisfied that he was the Almighty Father. Another time, he looked at me and I felt dark shadows that were apparently on my shoulders fly away. His gaze also scared me and I had never felt that before. Another time, I was listening to his discourse and he changed to Rama in front of my eyes. This Rama was dark blue in colour with a sheen. He had long black hair and a golden crown. He was showing me that Rama was really blue and not an impression created by artists.
I also experienced him speaking within me in a loud commanding tone. He said, ‘Look behind you’ and I turned to look unquestioningly. The sun was about to rise and was behind a mountain. The effect was to create pink beams of light against a midnight blue sky which was continuously expanding. Later, I saw a pink and blue shining whirlwinds in the middle of the lake. Finally, on the same day as he gave his discourse, he said ‘Nature is your teacher’.
One day about 10 pm I was talking to my friend and his wife. She was upset that we did not have the time to go to the Meenakshi temple in Madurai as we were in a hurry to get to Kodai. The next day, during darshan[xiv] Swami threw sweets and I got a few which I usually share with others. However, this lady was hit on the forehead by what she thought was one of these sweets, instead, what fell onto her lap after hitting her forehead was a small plastic containing various items with Meenakshi temple printed on it. This was the prasad that was given at the temple. I realised then that Swami knew everything that happens. I also found that Swami came to me during darshan and blessed anything that I had to show him. At first, I thought that this was normal, but the others in the group said it was unusual and took advantage of it and put anything that they wanted to have blessed on my plate which Swami promptly blessed.
Cutting the Ties that Bind
In the UK both Eddie Palmer and I started a ‘cutting-ties’ group with others at least once a month. This work was created by Phyllis Crystal a psychoanalyst from the USA and the work was given to her by Swami. It helped me heal my relationship with my mother. In January 1995, I had my first Krishna dream in which he told me that he was first going to come for my mother before the next phase of my life. My mother had a heart attack in May 1995. Soon after, I met Ranjana who came to the ‘cutting-ties’ group.
We also did group bhajans for certain festivals. I was beginning to learn bhajans and going to Sai centres and homes of Sai devotees for bhajans.
Ranjana
A few months later Eddie P asked if I could put up Ranjana as she had no place to go. She was staying in his Pooja room. At that time, I was doing about 6 hours of meditation a day and other sadhanas and preferred if no one disturbed me, especially if it was a woman, as I did not want to be distracted. Anyway, I told Swami if that was his will, I would allow it to happen.
So Ranjana came to live with me on the 1st of October 1995. When she arrived, I told her that she could stay as long as she liked, till she was able to get on her feet and that there was no charge. However, she was not allowed to bring alcohol, meat, and cigarettes for consumption to the flat. She was also told not to bring any men there. During this time strange things began to happen. Within three weeks after she came to the flat, I had a dream where I was shown my future. As the dream was a bit cryptic, I did not really understand it till things started to happen later.
Ranjana and I experienced and saw Shiridi Baba, Kali Ma and Swami in the Flat. Later Ranjana had an experience where she saw us getting married. When she told me, I thought it could be symbolic. On the day she left for India, there was a telephone call at 4 am which Ranjana took as I was on the toilet. She heard Swami on the phone teasing her saying ‘Mrs Appoo – APPOO’. When I asked her who was on the phone, she said it was a wrong number. I went to the lounge and saw a small picture of Ranjana on the floor and picked it up and suddenly lots of information poured into me. Mainly that she liked me. I asked her if it was true and she agreed tearfully. The incident guided me to go to India and ask Swami if it was true that we were meant to get married. A few days later I left for Puttarparthi to see Swami for the second time.
I went to Puttarparthi for 5 weeks from December 1995 to January 1996. Swami took my letter on the first darshan and never said anything to me for the 5 weeks I was there. I came home that evening from India feeling unhappy and complained to Swami that he did not answer me and went to sleep. That night Swami came to me and he looked annoyed and he said to me ‘Wife and wedding’.
Merging into the Light, the Trinity of Swami, Eddie, & Ranjana as One
I rang and told Ranjana, who was still in India what Swami said. She said that her father was opposed to it. I told her that I would do what Swami asked, but it was up to her to decide whether she wanted to listen to Swami or her father. A month later, I had a dream in which I stood in a valley with Swami holding my left hand with his right hand. There were mountains on either side. Her parents were on top of the mountain watching us. Ranjana stood about a hundred yards further from us at the other end of the valley on her own. We were waiting for some time. I asked Swami if I should go and get her. He simply said, ‘Let her take the first step’. I wondered how long this was going to take. Suddenly, Ranjana took one step and Swami’s arm shot out a hundred yards and grabbed her and put both our hands together. We started to become light and merged into each other. I told Ranjana that Swami had married us, but she was not convinced. Eventually, she agreed to what Swami asked us to do. We were given a date to go to India to get his blessing. He was in Kodaikanal and on the day, we flew to Bangalore, Swami came to Whitefield in Bangalore in the evening.
Over the next few years, Ranjana and I walked the path of Self-Realisation together. We also spent time working and growing with others, we travelled to many places, learnt many lessons and with Swami’s guidance created LiberatingTouch® (LT) which includes the Tree Meditation. In its simplest form, LiberatingTouch® is the practice of Love and Truth, the gift of nature’s wisdom in the hands of one that uses it, or as Swami revealed, ‘It is the touch of liberation’.
A few more moments in time
2002 – Started to compile the LT meditation techniques from the experiences beginning in 1982
2009 – Ranjana and I experienced the LT Infinity Symbol in the Prashanthi Mandir, began to use this and the LT Tree Connection with others
2010 – 2011 launched LiberatingTouch including the Tree Meditation
2013 – published the Detachment Book
2020 – Changed the terminology of Higher Self to Illumined Self
The Tree
The Tree has many meanings and functions as a way for everyone to connect with GOD in whichever name and form they are comfortable with. By doing the Tree Meditation you can listen to the inner voice and let it guide you on this journey of life to light. It symbolises the Trinity of God, the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit (Swami, Eddie, Ranjana). By connecting to it regularly you will learn about the Presence of Truth and the Power of Love in:
The 3 gunas, the qualities of rest, activity, purity
The Trinity of Creation, Sustenance, Annihilation
THREE – The 3 – You are – The one you think you are, the one others think you are, and the One you really are
Present day… (May 2024)
Nowadays, ‘my’ awareness rests beyond the Tree (Vigyanmaya Kosha), in the Light (Anandamaya Kosha). I experience Bliss Consciousness often. I have no questions, I seek no answers. I know the Truth, I am in the Light, the Light IS in me, I am the Light. Love is my form, Truth is my breath, Bliss is my food.
What comes between you and God – The two major things that come between you and God is desires and attachments. These are usually the material things you want in this materialistic life. It is difficult to live this life in this world without the desires and attachments. When the time comes and you are beyond these materialistic needs, you will be able to offer these things to God. Then you will be close to God – Eddie Appoo
Ps. A sweet thing happened as I was editing this document, experiencing both his presence and absence (Eddie became free from the body in November 2024), going through his documents to corroborate the dates and I found he had saved the chords to a song ‘Love Grows’ . I had never heard this song. It was released in 1970, my birth year, by Edison Lighthouse!! (Eddie is short for Edison and he is my lighthouse) Co-incidence? or Divine Synchronicity? – Thank you, Beloved Eddie, <3 Ranjana
[i] Samskaras are impressions, ‘abstract’ recollections that affect our behaviour, our choices and our response to life. They are the sum total of our comprehension of all our experiences through all time. They hold the answers to why, what, how, and when stuff happens in our lives; the cause of our misery or contentment. As our awareness awakens, we can refine and purify these impressions.
[ii] Prarabdha Karma is considered the portion of past karma that has matured and is now producing its fruits. It’s the reason for one’s current life circumstances, including the physical body, social environment, and overall life experiences
[iii] To find out more about Sathya Sai Baba go to – https://www.sathyasai.org/discourses-and-writings
[iv] Another way of experiencing this journey of transcendence from the limitations of the mind to the Infinite (Universal) SELF is by investigating the sheaths, or ‘koshas’ through which the light of ‘I’ shines. One can use the analogy of a lamp that has five lampshades over a very bright light. Each of the lampshades is a different colour and density. As the light shines through the lampshades, it progressively changes in colour and nature. On the one hand, the shades express individualised beauty and on the other, the lampshades obscure the pure light.
The journey of Self-Realisation is one of progressively moving inward, through each of these lampshades, to experience the purity at the eternal centre of consciousness. These five layers are called koshas, which means sheaths. Each human being consists of these five Koshas (sheaths) – Annamaya Kosha (food/physical sheath), Pranamaya Kosha (life/breath sheath), Manomaya Kosha (mind/mental-emotional sheath), Vigyanamaya Kosha (wisdom/divine intelligence/intellect sheath) and Anandamaya Kosha (bliss sheath). Most people identify with the food (physical body), breath and mind sheaths (subtle body) and are unaware of the sheaths of wisdom (subtle body) and bliss (causal body). Yet it is the latter two that are the key to Self-Knowledge, Illumination and Liberation.
[v] You can access these techniques at www.liberatingtouch.com by downloading the free intro guide or listening to the audios provided.
[vi] Maha Shivaratri is a time to reflect on the divine nature that resides within each individual. It’s a day to recognize that the world we perceive is merely a reflection of our inner being, and that by cultivating pure thoughts and actions, we can come closer to experiencing the divine. It is a particularly auspicious time for spiritual seekers because the moon, which is associated with the mind, is considered to be at its weakest. This makes it easier to practice controlling the mind and senses, a crucial step towards self-realisation.
[vii] Shrove Tuesday is a Christian tradition that marks the end of a period of feasting and the beginning of Lent, a 40-day period of fasting and reflection leading up to Easter. The word “shrove” comes from the old English word “shrive,” which means to confess one’s sins and seek forgiveness
[viii] Isra and Mi’raj, also known as the Night Journey and Ascension, is a significant event in Islamic history marking the miraculous journey of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) from Makkah to Jerusalem (Masjid al-Aqsa) and then ascending to the heavens. It’s a night of remembrance for Muslims, emphasizing faith, devotion, and the power of God.
[ix] There are seven main chakras – energy centres/vortexes, that serve to raise the vibration of the body-mind, helping the spiritual aspirant to experience heightened states of awareness. These chakras are power centres waiting to be activated by the Kundalini to reveal their full potential and immeasurable power. The chakras have an intimate relationship with the endocrine system.
[x] Ida, Pingala and Sushumna – In the context of yoga and spiritual practices, Ida, Pingala, and Sushumna are three fundamental energy channels (nadi) that run through the spine. Ida and Pingala are the left and right channels, while Sushumna is the central channel. Sathya Sai Baba taught that prana (life force) flows through these nadis, and a healthy balance between Ida and Pingala is crucial for well-being. He also emphasised that the central Sushumna nadi is the path to spiritual awakening and union with the Divine.
[xi] A Buddhist Lama and Teacher
[xii] This translates as spiritual fire another way of describing kundalini
[xiii] Someone who follows the teachings of Sathya Sai Baba
[xiv] To see the divine